I'm back. Having not blogged in a while it took something strong to move me back to the keyboard. First, something that has been weighing heavy on my heart and my mind. Second, a friend asked why I had not blogged for so long. I can't ignore the pull, so back, I am.
Troubled I am by people I know. People I know to be good people. Yet, somehow, troubled I am. I live in a small town. I've lived here my whole life. If you've ever lived in a small town, you know the joys it can bring: that sense of family, a feeling of safety and security, and a continuity of knowing the same people your whole life. Unfortunately, those very blessings can bring the same amount of unwarranted heartache. Yes, small towns love gossip.
We've all heard it. We've all engaged in it. We've all been hurt by it. We say we don't like it, but when we got it, we share it. Like wildfire it spreads. None are innocent and none are immune.
And that, my friends, is what moves me today. You know the old saying, "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." I wonder about the glass houses in which we dwell. The problem with living in a glass house is it lets in the sun and heats up whatever you have in there and just causes it to rot even more. I know mine is not perfect. As hard as I try, I am not perfect and I mess up a whole lot. So I put up a lot of shutters hoping it will protect my little glass house from the stones thrown my way. Most of the time, the shutters do their job, but every now and then, one or two get left open. As we know, it doesn't matter what is inside, there is always someone on the outside with a stone ready and waiting!
I know I am not the only one who works hard to keep the shutters up. I've known people who have struggled through life themselves. People who have supported spouses, family members, and loved-ones through the deepest and darkest times of their lives. During such times people just want to be left alone to cope, heal, recover. Many families have been able to that because of loving support and faith and have emerged stronger.
However, the prying eyes of the community make it so much harder, especially if you, your friends, or loved ones are dealing with addiction, adultery, unplanned pregnancy, legal problems, divorce, unemployment, depression, mental illness, or disease. The list is endless. I have heard people say how much easier it would be if they just didn't have to deal with the gossip in addition to the problem that they were having, They try so hard to keep it quiet and under the radar. It is instinct. Some people will use whatever fuel they can to spark the gossip inferno. But, what perplexes me most is when these same people, these survivors of difficult times, do not grant others the same privacy they yearned for during their own struggles and jump at the chance to throw their own stones at others or worse pour on the gasoline of gossip and toss in a lighted match.
I've examined my own heart lately. I wish I could say that everytime I heard a juicy tid-bit being thown about that I plugged my ears and zipped my mouth and moved along. Just like everyone else, I too am gulity; just like everyone else, I have been on the receiving side of those stones, and I know the damage they do. So now, I choose to lay down my stones and use my hands for helpful purposes. If these hands can tear down, can't they also build up?
The problem with throwing stones is how easy it is. You can do it from a distance and do a great deal of damage. You can do it in a crowd and remain anonymous. You can do it quietly and pretend you aren't doing any harm. The problem with helping others when they have fallen is how hard it is. You can't do it from a distance. You have to reach out your own hand and grab the hand of the one who has fallen. It is personal. It is risky. You have to get involved, and you might even get hit by some of the stones yourself. You can't usually help someone in a crowd. It requires stepping forward, apart from the crowd. Stepping apart from the crowd will be noticed. And once you do, it rarely is kept quiet. There will be talk.
We live in a disconnected world. We post pictures on Facebook: "Pray for Oklahoma" "Support Our Troops" "Like if you love Jesus." And we think we have done our share. 10,000 likes for a picture of a child with a tumor.....we have all seen, liked, and posted these. It is easy, and it gives us a quick, momentary feeling of goodness. But, what about the people closest to us? I'm not talking about volunteering to feed the homeless or donating to the Red Cross or to food banks. I think a lot of us do that and those are admirable, loving, kind acts of charity and goodness. But in some ways still disconnected. What about those closest to you who have fallen who need your kindness instead of your judgement? Shouldn't we start with those nearest to us? I know it is hard. We reserve judgement for those closest to us because they are the ones most likely to disappoint us. Plus, we can see their flaws up close and personal. And that's just it. It is personal. Personal connections are the hardest because they entail the most risk. But with the most risk often comes the most reward.
Think of a time when you were in the middle of your own life storm. All your shutters were thrown open and every wall of your glass house was exposed. When the stones were flying, who held out that hand for you? Whose arms were there to give you that hug? Whose shoulder did you cry on, and who lent a listening ear? Who helped you put your shutters back up and protected you from those stones?
One hand in a flurry of stones is usually all someone needs. Be that hand of compassion.
If we aren't doing good for others, then what good are we?
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